Negative again

Pregnancy test revealed negative again.  To be honest, I kind of expected it.  I'm not trying to be down or discouraged, but that feeling has just been with me this time.  We were unable to do the ultrasound, because my body responded differently.  That left me feeling unsure and not as confident as I had last time.  I'm craving chocolate ( sure sign that AF is on her way).  I'm emotional in a weird way.  I'd really like to disappear for at least a week.  No phone, no contact with anyone.  You know, a mini meltdown.  Alas, work and other responsibilities, not to mention the next round of meds that will probably start the latter part of next week.  I'll be honest, I'm not looking forward to the meds.  There are lots of women, who have gone through so much worse, and I feel bad even complaining about what I'm going through.  I'm just tired of feeling like everything is just out of my grasp.  I'm tired of feeling the way I do.  I'm trying to stay optimistic, but it is getting harder.  I'm thankful for everyone's support and well wishes, but even that is starting to hurt.  It's just a reminder, that I'm not there yet.  :)  I'm not saying stop, just wanting to complain, and Willie told me he was tired of hearing me bitch.  Damn dog!!