I had surgery on January 24th. It was a simple procedure to them, but it really hurt my spirit. It took away the hope I had. The week that followed, was probably the hardest week, I've every encountered. I'm not sure, if it's age, but I just didn't bounce back. Physically, I felt fine, but my emotions were all over the place. The day of the surgery, I was optimistic and feeling pretty good. Looking back, I can see where the anesthesia was still a factor. Friday, I woke up zapped of all energy. That night I had to go see my brother's Art Show, and I just wasn't myself. The next day, same thing, but my Step dad was retiring, and we were having a party. The Monday following my surgery, was my birthday. Woo hoo, yes I'm saying that sarcastically. There just wasn't much celebration in my heart.
It's now almost two weeks post surgery, and the fog is starting to lift. I'm still not 100%. I'm still not sleeping well. Haven't been back to the gym yet, but I am wearing my work out clothes, in case I feel up to it. But, there are moments, where it doesn't creep into my head, that I have to have another round.
Of course, in life things happen. Good and bad. This was my bad, after a string of bad, yet there is still a little hope, that one day, things will go my way. I haven't completely given up yet. Hopefully, I never will. There will be a round two, but this next time is all for me. I'm not going to blog about the baby making process. It's not that I don't want to share it, but you all know the process I'll be going through. Lot's of shots, and waiting. I realized, that I never gave myself time to be present in the moment. Getting the blog written, in a way, that told my feelings took over. So, I'll still be blogging, but not sure on what yet. Maybe you guys should give me some ideas. Give me any topic you want, and I'll write a blog about it. That sounds like fun anyway, it will challenge me to open up. I won't necessarily write a personal blog, but I may have some experience with your topic, and I'll gladly share.
I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart, for taking last year's journey with me. Lots of you stopped me, and gave me words of encouragement. Many of you never left comments, but when I saw you, you'd tell me that you read my blog. It meant a lot to not be alone in the process. I'm hoping that whenever I try again, later this year, that I'm able to post a blog with good news.
