Things are actually better than the title represents. And at the same time, they are worse. Gym time is amazing, and I can't wait to post the before and after photos. I'm amazed at the changes that are happening. Still some stressful fires burning, but there is nothing I can do about those but wait, and stay strong until we have an answer.
The Ugh, is because of this weekend. It's Mother's Day on Sunday, and the posts are already starting. I won't even try to lie, and say I haven't thought about it a million times, because I have. I just attended 3 baby showers, in the past two weeks. I'm reminded daily, that I'm not a mom. That's the truth, and it sucks. It sucks everyday. It doesn't suck as bad as it did in late January, but it's still there. Truthfully, it will always be a part of my soul. I sometimes wonder if the longing will go away. There are days, when I'm so thankful to be single, and able to do what I want. But, it's all I know. Maybe this is my blessing/curse. Who knows how I'll feel, when I'm old and gray. I've put the baby pursuit on hold for now. I don't know if I'll try again. I'm just not ready yet, and there are days when I think, I never will be. It's not set in stone, or my final answer, but for today it is. I'm taking it one day at a time, and trying to just live my life.
For all the mothers, Happy Mother's day.
