8 days past IUI. Probably the longest 8 days, I've ever experienced up to this point. Doing my best to stay busy, and not think about it. But hey, who are we kidding? It's about the only thing I can think of. You start looking at any symptom. You start making some up :) I don't feel any different. Nothing, no change. That scares me. But, it is only 8 days past IUI. Come on next week! I'm ready to know, I think. If I'm not pregnant, lets just get on with the next cycle and try to not cry or feel discouraged. Probably easier said than done.
Today to fill my time, I worked on the backyard. Trying to make it a modular rock and green space. I'm happy with the progress so far. Trying to pick only plants that like the hot Oklahoma sun. I'm a horrible green thumb, but I'm trying to learn how to do stuff, before I have a child. :)
Ok, back to pretending I'm not waiting on some really important news.
Saturday, June 02, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Shots Shots Shots..... Finally!!
Arrived at Mammie's house early, to try and calm my nerves. We started watching a movie on Netflix, and I was really enjoying it, then it was time. I did not start shaking until it was time to try and draw the liquid, It's not that hard, but the syringe was awkward in my hand, and the bottle seemed tiny. Add on, Mammie's light, that cast a shadow, and that left me feeling shaky. I wanted to have fun with this moment and really try to bring humor, to a situation, that is a little scary. So I downloaded the song Shots, by LMFAO. Didn't realize how explicit it is, but all in good fun. I just wanted the "Shots, Shots, Shots" part. We shot a couple of videos, should have only been one, but when have I ever done anything right, the first time???
Shots: Part 1
Shots: Part 2
Hopefully I learned from this first experience. If I have to give myself more shots, I'll be much more calm. It didn't hurt. Watching these back, makes me giggle.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Out of order.
I've always done things out of order. It's weird! Everything eventually gets done, but never in the way it works for everyone else. This post for instance, is being posted before another. I've been working on it since Thursday night, but am having the hardest time getting the video uploaded to the page. I'll eventually get it, and hopefully you agree, it was worth the wait.
Yesterday was the big day. It seems like an eternity has past. Nope, that is just the fun of waiting now. At 8:45 yesterday morning, I was inseminated. Doesn't sound as sexy as saying, " my husband and I are trying to have a baby" or " we conceived on Vacation". It was over very quickly, and the nurse told me to stay laying down for about 5 minutes. After that I was free to go. I walked out of there a little shaky. My nerves were shot and the what-ifs, were already rearing their ugly little heads. "What if you actually get pregnant? What if you don't get pregnant? What if you get pregnant, but lose the baby? What if? What if?
I hope that anyone reading this knows that this was such a hard decision to make. Yes, I joke about it, as I do most things, but it has not been easy. Everyday, I question my own decision, and as tough as it was, it was the one I had to make. There has been such an outpouring of support, from people I didn't expect. And there has been complete silence, from people I thought would be here. That is tough, probably the toughest. Maybe you don't think you'll know what to say, but saying nothing, only feeds this growing resentment I feel towards you. Hopefully those who know me will agree, that I might be a little crazy, and outspoken, but I'm loyal and supportive of my friends. I've always tried to be there to help in any way possible. This journey that I'm on, is opening my eyes to the possibility, that maybe some of these friends, don't feel the same way. I don't care how old I get, my feelings get hurt.
That's life, I guess. You win some, you lose some. My family has been the most amazing and supportive group. They try to cheer me up, when I'm feeling low. And my family is weird. It's not traditional. It's made up of mothers and fathers, ex husbands and ex wives, friends from high school. My family is made up of love and laughter. It is made of tears and sweat and hard work. It is made up of my best friends.
Thank you all for becoming a part of my story, a part of my family. Each comment, facebook message, phone call are appreciated more than you will ever know.
Yesterday was the big day. It seems like an eternity has past. Nope, that is just the fun of waiting now. At 8:45 yesterday morning, I was inseminated. Doesn't sound as sexy as saying, " my husband and I are trying to have a baby" or " we conceived on Vacation". It was over very quickly, and the nurse told me to stay laying down for about 5 minutes. After that I was free to go. I walked out of there a little shaky. My nerves were shot and the what-ifs, were already rearing their ugly little heads. "What if you actually get pregnant? What if you don't get pregnant? What if you get pregnant, but lose the baby? What if? What if?
I hope that anyone reading this knows that this was such a hard decision to make. Yes, I joke about it, as I do most things, but it has not been easy. Everyday, I question my own decision, and as tough as it was, it was the one I had to make. There has been such an outpouring of support, from people I didn't expect. And there has been complete silence, from people I thought would be here. That is tough, probably the toughest. Maybe you don't think you'll know what to say, but saying nothing, only feeds this growing resentment I feel towards you. Hopefully those who know me will agree, that I might be a little crazy, and outspoken, but I'm loyal and supportive of my friends. I've always tried to be there to help in any way possible. This journey that I'm on, is opening my eyes to the possibility, that maybe some of these friends, don't feel the same way. I don't care how old I get, my feelings get hurt.
That's life, I guess. You win some, you lose some. My family has been the most amazing and supportive group. They try to cheer me up, when I'm feeling low. And my family is weird. It's not traditional. It's made up of mothers and fathers, ex husbands and ex wives, friends from high school. My family is made up of love and laughter. It is made of tears and sweat and hard work. It is made up of my best friends.
Thank you all for becoming a part of my story, a part of my family. Each comment, facebook message, phone call are appreciated more than you will ever know.
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