Ok, so maybe it's not that bad. Or, some days it is. I've never known time to go so slowly. It literally creeps backwards at times. I've cried more this week, over stupid things too. I'm getting good at turning the radio station really quickly. Just the note of a song, can set me off.
So, I'm mentally preparing for the worst, while of course hoping for the best. I've started researching IVF, trying to prepare for the next stage. If this IUI doesn't work, I'll speak with my doctor and do what he suggests, but at this point, I'm ready. The shots, I can handle. The drugs effects on my body, not as worried, now that I've read up on what they are. Of course there is always going to be some risk, but I'm willing.
I've been trying to find a support group for single women, going through what I am. It is definitely getting harder to be around people. Not that I don't like them, but I find myself, looking at what they have and really feeling inadequate or a slight tinge of jealousy. Seeing baby pictures and hearing about what all the babies are doing, is starting to put little daggers in my heart. Don't get me wrong, I love how wonderful all the babies are and how well they are doing, I'm just not in the mood to hear about it. :) I will say, I miss all my girlfriends, and how easy the conversations used to be. Miss the laughter and carefree moments.
I was in Wal Mart, stocking up on healthy eats yesterday, and got teary eyed when I walked past the baby stuff. HORMONES are the devil!! So, if you happen to see me out and about, with a spaced out look and tears in my eyes, please feel free to help a sister out.
