Oh boy, another Mother's Day is upon us. Just my opinion, but it is just another day. But, if you watch TV, read the newspaper, pay attention to Facebook, all you see are sappy posts and commercials about the day. It's like a global attack of guilt upon you. "Treat your mother to the best" "Give flowers to the woman who gave you life"... the list goes on and on and on and on.
First, there are women who chose not to have children. We should have a day to celebrate them for just being them. A woman!! We need a woman's day.
Second, there are many women who have lost their child or children. This can be a very emotional and draining time for them. They are constantly reminded of the children they once held who are no longer here.
Third, there are women who have tried and failed to ever get pregnant. There can be feelings of embarrassment or uselessness.
Fourth, there are women who have suffered miscarriages. This day can be a reminder of what could have been.
Fifth, there are women who after a lot of soul searching, decided to abort a baby. They might have feelings of guilt and shame. Or, they could be like the first group, who just chose not to have a child in their circumstances.
My point is, not everyone wants to celebrate Mother's Day. Not even with their own mother. I am one of those women. I love my mother, every crazy inch of her. She drives me to the brink of madness most days. She has been a constant source of love in my life. She has also been a source of conflict, because we don't always see eye to eye. But I have my own feelings of everything I described above. Is it selfish of me, to decide that I want to do what I want? Sure it is. But I make no apologies for trying to safeguard my heart against the feelings that come up every year. I've been dealing with them since my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage in 1995. Almost 20 years of heartbreak. It's only recently, I decided to take a stand and do only things I wanted to do. Nothing out of obligation anymore. It's not the most popular choice in a society which thrives on tradition.
So Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there, including my Mammie and Crickett.
But especially, Happy Strong Woman's Day to all the women who don't have children.
