Where to begin... I'll start at the end of 2011. It was truly a turning point for me. I learned my Scottish boyfriend, was not who he said he was, and he was married in early December. That month was kind of a blur. Lots of tears and soul searching. I decided then and there, that it was time, I started being proactive, in what I truly wanted in life.
February, 2012 was my first appointment with a fertility doctor in Oklahoma City. He did some blood work and an ultrasound. After the appt, he sat me down and talked chances and what he found. Basically, he told me that my ultrasound showed only 5 follicles, which was indicative of Poor Ovarian Reserve. He expected the blood work to confirm that. He told me, to just wait for his phone call in a few days, then we would discuss my options. I went out to the parking lot, barely holding myself together. Called my dad and started crying. Came home and started researching everything he had told me. The blood test was an AMH test, and low numbers, were not good.
He calls back and schedules follow up appointment. I asked the nurse my number, she hesitated telling me, but I asked again. My AMH was a .2 On a scale from 0-5, I was .2 away from Zero fertility. I hung up the phone and once again cried my eyes out. Next day was my appointment. I arrived, and exactly like I thought, the doctor told me my chances of having a child were pretty slim. Now, there was the option of using donor eggs. Then he rattled off numbers saying " in normal women, age 40 the chances of success are..." " In normal women, age 35 the chances of success are...". Basically, he was saying everything that didn't pertain to me. He said whatever I chose, I needed to make a decision quick, because his next IVF started in June and it was expensive. I wanted out of his office and away from him. I knew that regardless of what I chose, it would not involve him. I cried most of the way home, no radio turned on. My thoughts of holding a baby, who looked like me, my mom, my dad were clouded by his voice, saying no. It was a tough drive. Strangely, when I got home, there was a calmness to me. I jumped online and started looking for another doctor. OU Medical jumped up, and I called. The girl was super sweet and said it was just my luck, an appointment, was open for the next day. I made the appointment.
Right away, I like Dr. Hansen and his staff. They were all friendly, and he talked to me. He gave me another ultrasound, and he found more follicles, not a lot more, but a few more. 8 was better than 5. He said, he saw no reason, not to try an IUI, which is an Intrauterine Insemination. Basically, it's the doctor putting the sperm, right outside the fallopian tubes, and letting nature work it's course. First though, I needed an HSG, which is an Hysterosalpingography an X-ray of the uterus and fallopian tubes, to make sure the tubes are working properly. It is an uncomfortable procedure, to say the least. They basically pump your uterus full of dye, while performing the X-ray. I was laid out on the table for about 20 minutes, while the doctor squeezed the dye in, which caused contractions. The first test was performed by an offsite doctor, and the results were inconclusive. Dr. Hansen said we could proceed, or do the test again. We chose to do the test again. So the very next day, I drove back up to the city, and had the test performed by Dr. Hansen. He concluded that the tube I did have, was open, but maybe not without some blockage. He still thought that IUI was the best course of action.
May 2012, my first IUI after a week of Clomid. I was crazy after the meds. They had me feeling very euphoric my first time. I was super excited and just knew, that I was going to be pregnant right away. Instead, I was met with a big fat negative. No time to cry about it though, it was time for the next try. Well, as most of you know, there were 4 failed IUI attempts, and each time the medicine made me meaner and depressed. I had headaches that put me flat on my back. After the fourth fail, it was time to discuss our options. Dr. Hansen and I spoke at length about IVF. He said my odds, were maybe 25%. Well, let's do it I said. There was no way I could give up without trying. This was in August, and it was a long 3 month wait to start my IVF cycle.
A couple of days before Thanksgiving, my box of drugs arrived. I cried just looking at them. I was scared and sad. Sad to be alone, trying to have a baby, and scared of all the shots I was about to endure. Thanksgiving was my first shot. Wasn't too bad, two shots a day. It wasn't until the third day, that I introduced a couple more shots in. In total, I had given myself 52 shots in 23 days, or something like that. I had appointments, just about every other day. They were checking my blood, and looking for over stimulation. My body responded very well, and I only had a few days of swelling and bruising. They harvested 6 eggs. 4 eggs were mature and two immature. Out of the 4, 3 of them fertilized. On day 2, they were doing very well, one Grade A and two Grade B. On the third day, when I went in for the transfer, all three were still doing great. One 4 cell grade B-, one 6 cell grade B, and one Morula.
That's when the wait began. Slowly minutes ticked by, day by day. Not knowing if it worked, was killing me. I started peeing on a stick the day after my procedure. I do not recommend this for anyone. :) It becomes the obsessive thing you do. Then you stare at the sticks, imagining lines when there aren't any. Only difference is, I did have a line. Day after day, that little line kept showing up. Then it started getting darker, and then finally the digital test said yes. That's right, you read that correctly.... I'm pregnant. Wait, let me say that just a little louder...I'm pregnant.
Merry Christmas
