Sad/happy

I didn't actually think, that you could be sad and happy at the same time. Yet, that's where I find myself lately. I have brilliant moments throughout the day, only to be met, with "woe is me" later in the evenings. I hate that the bad thoughts creep into my head, as the days turn to night. 

I'm optimistic and a realist. A weird combo if you ask me. I know that things will eventually fall in place, yet the impatient me, thinks it will take forever. 

I think the comfort, that my home provides, is the same thing, as the loneliness I feel here. Day in an day out, I come home to an empty house, with nothing but my books and tv to keep me entertained. I have my little guy Willie, but his conversations are quite limited. Ruff

I find that I feel a big disconnect with most people. I'm not really big into small talk. There are some people, who I enjoy quite a bit, but don't get to spend time with them, near as much. My closest girlfriends, are on the east coast, west coast and way down there in Texas. 

I'm trying to stay busy, and do things I enjoy, and I really like all that I'm doing. But, I feel like there is just something missing. I watch as friends and family around here, seem to have everything that I crave. I'll continue to strive to be better, and do better each day, hoping it will eventually lead to something more substantial in my life. 

I guess what I'm trying to say, is I always try to do for others, give everyone the real me, and I do it from a place of love deep within my heart. It's not that I want anything in return, but the hope is, someone will recognize my heart and want that for themselves. 

I do for others, what I hope others would do for me. I care for others, the way I want to be cared for. 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm happy and content, but there has to be more to life, than what I'm experiencing. There's just a little hole in my heart, that is aching for something more. It longs for chance at something spectacular and amazing.