3 weeks until Thanksgiving. For as slow as this year has seemed to go, now that I'm 3 weeks away from starting the IVF process, it's going pretty fast. I'm really thankful that the waiting is almost over, and I can move forward.
You know, I always thought life was just going to fall into place. I never really put much thought into preparation, or hardships. There are things going on in my family, that are making my heart hurt. As you are growing up, you just always assume that your family will be there and have your back no matter what. That apparently is not the case. The past 3 months, have opened my eyes to selfishness and bitterness. I've cried and lost sleep over what is going on, but no more. Last night was the final straw in my eyes. It's not so much me anymore, but watching my mom and step-dad have their hearts broken is heart wrenching. Yes, my mom is slightly crazy, but in the best of ways. Her heart is as big as they come. There is nothing she wouldn't do for me or my brother. There is nothing her and Joe haven't already done. If there is one thing I've learned in this life, is it goes fast. Way too fast. You end up with regrets, and you may not ever get the chance to make things right. I'm moving on, moving past and letting go. There are people, who want to be a part of my life. You can't choose family, but you sure can choose great people to share your life with. They become family. Blood may be thicker than water, but someone who chooses to swim upstream for you, they are what I want to be surrounded by.
My love for you and Dallas is endless....If my love were not so strong, things you have done would not bother me. We have to love someone very deeply for them to hurt us deeply. Life goes on and the regrets have to be left behind. I wasn't a perfect mom for you but when it was all said and done, my best is there in your heart. You have turned out to be the beautiful young lady I always hoped you would and for that, I am proud. You and Dallas both have all of my love.
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