Prepared Procrastinator

So, finally getting started on this blog.  Was supposed to start it around the end of March, but just couldn't find the time.  Blogging, laying it all out there.  I'm pretty good at that, in my everyday life, but really wanted a different venue, to post my thoughts and tell you all the great and not so great things going on.  

One of my nicknames is Hammy.  As in the squirrel, from the movie Over the Hedge.  He has lot's of energy and can't concentrate on one thing.  He is always up to something, but nothing at all.  That is pretty much me, all over the place.  This blog will be about the past, present and what I hope to be my future.  There are aspects of my past, that have a definite and direct tie, into the woman I am today, and also the struggles I face.  Then there are parts of my past, that were just random moments in time, that seem to have no bearing on today.  They are just funny stories that happened along the way.

So away we go..... I'm 37 years old, single with no children.  I'm working on the no children thing.  I've been talking about it for years.  The joke started at least 5 years ago.  I'd be the most likely out of all my friends to try IVF with a sperm donor.  I started researching online, but invariably, something would always come up.  Finally last year, I moved closer to actually doing it.  Went to a fertility doctor in Lawton and inquired about what I would need to do.  The answer was, "sure we can do that.  When you start your cycle, give us a call and schedule your insemination.  Have the sperm shipped here."  Hmmmmm, seemed a little to nonchalant and easy if you ask me.  Having a prior ruptured ectopic pregnancy, that resulted in losing one fallopian tube, I knew there was going to be more to the process.  So, I waited and prayed about it.  Shortly, and I mean within the week, met a wonderful guy, who promised me the world.  Problem was he was going to Afghanistan.  No problem, I would just wait for him to come home.  Second problem was realized way too late, he was married.  His wife emailed me in December.  So, back to square one.  This time I decided to go to Oklahoma City and find myself a new fertility doctor.  

Doctor # 1

He like to tell stories.  A normal woman age 40, a normal woman age 25...never quite addressed me.  Still, he did an ultrasound, and discovered 5 follicles.  To me, 5 sounded great, you only need one, right?  Well, in our talk, he expressed his opinion that after I had a blood test, it would reveal to him that I have POR, which is Poor Ovarian Reserve.  Basically, my eggs were old, and the quality and quantity were not going to be good.  I left the appointment feeling discouraged and without hope.  They called a week later with the results to my AMH, Anti-Mullerian Hormone test.  .25    I hung up the phone and cried.  Very low fertility is 0.0-2.0    They scheduled a follow up appt for the following Monday.  Let's just say, Tequila and I had a very long talk on Saturday.  At the follow up appt, he kept telling stories about normal women ages 25 and 40.  Basically said, if you want to try IVF, it's expensive and it starts in June, so I need to know soon.  I left there feeling pretty low.  Came home and got on the computer.  Had to have more answers and soon.  That's when I found Doctor #2

Doctor #2

He had an opening two days later.  What a breath of fresh air.  He was younger and much more attentive to me.  Answered all my questions, some of which I got from reading Google, WebMd, random blogs, rants...He then wanted to do another Ultrasound.  He found more follicles, 4 on each ovary, which 8 is better than 5.  He ordered some blood tests and wanted me to schedule and HSG, which is an Hysterosalpingogram.  It's an X-ray with contrasting dye of my uterus and fallopian tube.  He said as long as the tube was clear, it's a go to try IUI, which is Inter Uterine Insemination.  I left there feeling like I was on cloud nine.  

So, the HSG was not good, and the one tube I have is partially blocked.  I'm awaiting news from my doctor to let me know what's next.  Possibly surgery to repair tube, or skip that and go straight to IVF, which bypasses the tube completely.  

This procrastinator is done putting things off.  Well, the important things anyway.  Even though I mentally prepared for years, the life I was going to have, I forgot to take steps to ensure things were working properly.  So for all the ladies out there like me, getting older (even if you don't admit it) go get checked if you are putting off having children, until the time is right.  There is a simple blood test.  Ask for an AMH blood test.  It is a strong indicator of your Ovarian Reserve.  Knowing your numbers will help you avoid what this procrastinator has learned.