Oh Boy(s)!

The reason why I'm doing this family thing solo.  There are tons of reasons, that I'm still single.  Partly my fault, but the true fault, lies in timing and execution.  I've had boyfriends, lovers, friends, whatever you want to call them.  Even an ex husband, but that was so long ago.  I've been divorced almost 16 years.  It doesn't seem possible that it's been so long.  I've never really truly believed in one "soul mate".  I think that as you go through life, you evolve and change.  If you are with someone, and they don't evolve at the same rate as you, or your ideas don't agree with each other, it's ok to let that relationship go.  You shouldn't force yourself to stay tied to an idea.  Now, I'm not advocating just moving on at the first sign of discord, but you should evaluate the situation.  Each person is different.

My mother and father divorced when I was two years old.  My dad remarried two years later, and has now been married to my step-mom for 32 years.  My mother on the other hand took a different route.  My father was her 3rd husband, she married him at the age of 22.  She went on to marry 4 more times.  Yes, she has been married 7 times.  Now, I must say she finally picked a winner and my step-dad and her, have been married 18 years.  I have 3 brothers, an older step-brother and two younger half-brothers.  My step-mom's boys, both met their wives when they were teenagers.  My older brother has been married for almost 23 years, and my youngest brother has been married for 8 years, but has been with his wife since he was 16 years old.  My middle brother, he dated for years, but married his high school love a few years ago.  I tell you all this, to show that each of us is different.

Now me, oh how I love boys.  I've always been boy crazy.  My mother has a picture of me kissing a little boy when I was 4.  There was never a shortage of boys for me to have a crush on.  I wanted to be their friends and hang out.  Never thought I would be single this long, though.  It seems as if the pool of available men has dried up.  Now, I know that's not the case, but my tastes have changed.  When I used to date older, now I prefer younger.  :)  Living in Lawton, doesn't give you many options either.  So many military and transient fellas.  Nothing against my men in uniform, but I'm not going to pick up and leave.  I've got a business, a house, my family, too many things that make Lawton the place to call home.

All this leads to my reason for creating my family from one.  Trying to find a guy, hope it's right and then rush into a family, is not the way for me to do things.  The pressure to settle down is horrible.  I want to be with a man because he makes me happy and I can't live without him, not because he can give me a baby.  So, I'll take the pressure off, not only the guys, but myself.  To be honest, it is a relief to not stress about a guy.  For once in my life, I'm not trying to be on my best behavior.  :)  I'm living an honest life.  Knowing that gives me the peace of mind to follow my dreams, and create my family from one.