This is for me, this is for you. What a lesson for all of us. Forgiveness doesn't come easy. We have to make a choice to accept what has happened and move on from it. Everyone does this in their own way. Some people easily brush things off, while others take great offense to everything said and done to them. It's not always about you. Sometimes, it is about someone else. I've learned this lesson the hard way in my life. Every day, I have to pray for God, to soften my heart, towards people. That's life. There are people from my past, who I forgave a long time ago, but then I let them go. They were no longer in my thoughts or my life. And still to this day, I rarely think about them. A few friends, and even a few family members. That's the way I forgive. It may not be right to for everyone, but it's easier for me. I can look back on the past 25 years, and yes, there is some sadness for what was lost, but I didn't cause it. How can you miss something, that you never knew??
As I move forward in this next phase of my life, which by the way, I hope is the middle, and not the end, daily I try to forgive and ask forgiveness. It seems that I can piss people off quite easily. Actually, I've always known that, "You're just like your father", as my mother and step-mother will both attest too. Often times, I feel misunderstood. This blog is about my journey, and as I stated in the first blog, I'll probably lose a few friends along the way. I wasn't kidding. By being honest, and open and putting things out there, some people will realize, that they really don't like me, and that's fine. I'll be ok. I've gained support from people, that I never knew cared, and those are the people that I want to forge a better relationship with, and move beyond being superficial and less than honest.
If you, the person reading this blog, is offended in any way, I'm truly sorry. This is about me and not about you. I never meant to hurt you along the way or make you feel less than important. Whether you are friend or family, you have been a part of my journey thus far, and I hope to keep you until the end. If not, good luck and may God bring you joy and abundance in your life.
As for me, I'm living. Finally, I'm learning to live without fear of what others might think. I'm living to please God and myself. Hopefully, I will make some of you proud as well.
You always were a diamond in the rough. We are all diamonds in the rough but some of my diamond friends have chosen to remain in the rough. It has and always will be an honor to have you as a child. Because of where you are in your journey it is apparent you are NOT just like your dad. You WERE just like your dad in both good and bad ways....you were and are just like your mother also...but then....mother's like to claim the good part. I don't mind telling you the journey you are on is like that of the rest of us who strive to be better. You are beautiful inside and out, just like your mother...and your dad. I love you for who and where you are and hope you have forgiven me for not being the mother you wanted or needed when you were a little girl. As you grow, your father and I become smarter as you realize it is all about you and your journey...it never was about us. I am here, as always, backing the little girl inside of you who loves both her mother and daddy. So very proud of who you were, who you are and also of the life-changing experience you are blessed to be a part of at this time. I love you unconditionally like the good Lord loves all of us. I once was lost, but now, am found....was blind, but now, I SEE.....God bless you little one.
ReplyDeleteStarr you are a strong minded woman with a massive heart. I pray for you that this journey you are on ends in a bundle of happiness, you truly deserve it. I know you will be a fantastic mum.
ReplyDeleteDarling Starr, your mother is wrong. You are and always will be just like me. Just kidding. Your mother is so eloquent in her words and she speaks the truth. As you and many others have heard me say " I don't give a !!!". I have always forgiven but never forgotten. Life's journey is a long and winding road with many peaks and valleys. I have lived them all and I have had an amazing life as God has always led me , when I listened. If you are quiet He will give you the path. I am so happy you have become such a good friend and not just a daughter . Sorry I had to drag you. Dad
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