Two weeks out.

So I'm writing a secret blog.  If you are reading this, then it is no longer secret.  I decided a few months back, that I wanted to try for a baby again.  Can you believe it?  Opened the mailbox one day to find a bill for sperm storage.  How did I forget I had sperm?  Anyway, that got my brain all fired up.  Over the following weeks, my mind kept going back and forth.  One day I was driving down the road when the most overwhelming feeling I've ever experienced came upon me.  I pulled over and called the doctor immediately.  It set the wheels in motion and I've been doing all the prep work since.  First it was blood work to determine my AMH number, which is the anti-mullerian hormone level. AMH blood levels are thought to reflect the size of the remaining egg supply.  Two years ago it was a .2, which was devastating news.  This time it was a .67, still low but I'll take it.  They also checked my FSH level, which was a 7.9.  Anything below a 9 is considered normal.  So we started with good news.

I have told basically no one.  There are only a few select people.  I want to keep this experience all to myself.  I apologize in advance to any family who may feel slighted.  I'm only trying to spare myself the extra stress knowing how much you want this for me too.

So yesterday October 1st, was my mock transfer.  Let's just say I was poked and jabbed for the better part of an hour.  Still in a little pain today, but it will all be worth it.  Not only are my blood work numbers up, but my antral follicle count is up as well.  If you remember from 2 years ago, the first doctor only counted 4 or 5 follicles total.  Then my present doctor counted 8 follicles just a month later.  Yesterday he counted 7-8 follicles on just one ovary.  The other ovary had 3 or 4.  This is 12 follicles before I've even started the stimulating meds.  To say I'm over the moon excited would be an understatement.  I'm trying not to get too far ahead, because every follicle doesn't necessarily produce an egg, but having a better shot at producing more than 6 eggs is just damn fucking fantastic.  < yes, I feel my use of the word is warranted.

So two weeks from today I will start with the shots in my stomach.  My doctor has decided to use the same drug protocol.  He said my body responded so well last time we should stick with what works.

I won't have to stop working out until 4 or 5 days into the meds, but I am going to miss my gym until I can get back.  I apologize now in advance to all of BDCF family.  You see, I will be faking an injury so no one knows what I am up to.  I love you guys and can't wait to be in there with my pregnant belly lifting weights again.  (that's the hope anyway)

Never say never.  Never give up.  You are always allowed to change your mind.  Go after what you want.  Make no apologies.